Ellen的“自私”表现

因为2个月后Ellen要去学校了，从一对一的环境到有很多小朋友的集体，有很多的变化，不知小人能不能适应？为了让这一过程尽量少折腾，已经让Ellen多参加有小朋友在一起的活动。每周一次的音乐课，Ellen很喜欢，但和小朋友的互动不多。教会的主日早晨有Sunday School，去过一次，还可以。上两周阿姨家多了2个小朋友，是阿姨侄女的孩子，因为爷爷奶奶去度假，来阿姨家过渡一下。2个小朋友一个比Ellen大3个月，也是女孩，叫Emily，一个快一岁了，是男孩，Ellen叫他baby。Ellen和小朋友玩得很开心，尤其会跟在Emily后面疯。

不过发现个问题：不喜欢别的小朋友碰她的玩具，看到baby要拿玩具，Ellen要拿过来，有时自己不玩，会放到沙发后baby够不到的地方；和Emily疯归疯，玩具是不肯给的。在教会的Sunday School，小朋友吃完点心后开始一起在小桌上玩一个玩具，Ellen开始在骑车，后来也凑热闹过来，挤到桌前，居然拿起玩具走到小桌另一边自己玩起来，妈妈看了很错愕，赶忙走上去和Ellen说玩具不可以自己拿来玩，要和小朋友一起玩，Ellen居然哭起来，妈妈将玩具拿下，牵Ellen到旁边的卫生间教育一番，讲了一通玩具要和小朋友一起玩，sharing。。。不知小人有没有听懂。在阿姨家的表现表明小人没有懂。在家里和阿姨家，爸爸妈妈和阿姨开始经常和Ellen敲木鱼：要和小朋友一起玩玩具和分享。。。

有天妈妈在图书馆里的旧书店看到《Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care》（斯波克医生育儿经），随手翻了翻，看到两岁一章有不少感兴趣的话题，就买了回来。两岁一章里有关于Parallel Play（不知中文怎么翻译）的讨论，看后对Ellen的“自私”表现恍然大悟。

Parallel Play

At two, children don't play cooperatively with each other very much. Although they may love to watch each other's occupations, mostly they enjoy playing alongside each other in what is called parallel play. “Sharing” Is not a word in their vocabulary: what's theirs is theirs. There is no point in trying to teach a two-year-old to share; it goes against his very nature. The fact that he won't share at two has nothing to do with how generous a person he will become when he is older. But this doesn't mean you have to accept bad manners, even if he hasn't a clue why you consider his grabbing a toy away from a companion to be bad from. You can firmly but cheerfully take the toy away from him, return it to its rightful owner, and quickly try to distract him with another object of interest. Long harangues about why he should share things are wasted breath. He will start to share when he understands the concept of sharing, and not before.